Does Knowing Your Child’s Personality Really Matter?
Well let me tell you if knowing my child’s personality mattered and how it changed my mothering experience.
All I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother. I played with baby dolls until I tearfully opened what I knew would be my last baby doll at the age of 12. Every part of me waited in eager anticipation for the day I could hold and love a real baby. So I was over joyed to become a mom!
I felt pretty confident parenting my oldest child. I did very little discipline, and he was such a joy to be around. No matter where we went, things went smoothly, and I would be complimented on my parenting. It felt really good! I kind of figured, I was just cut out for parenting. (Now, don’t stop reading there, thinking…”Oh great she’s one of those! She’ll never understand!” Keep reading!!)
Then I had my second child. I felt like I was doing everything the same, but nothing was turning out the same! Each day I was met with his strong determination, boldness, and questioning. I was getting a bit weary, being put to the test from the moment my eyes opened until the moment his closed. Inside I began to worry that this child didn’t really like me, and I was losing my parenting touch.
Then along came our third baby. Oh my, from the moment he arrived he was a high need baby. He cried almost non-stop, and I felt like I spent every waking moment trying to bounce him, snuggle him, feed him, pacify him, and to no avail! I was just sure this baby hated that he was part of our family and maybe even me! Mind you, I was still parenting a school-age child and our own determined lil’ Curious George!
Then along came baby four, who was slated to be our fourth boy. I had never imagined even mothering a boy! All my baby dolls had been girls! What on Earth would I ever do with four boys! I felt a bit panicked. That panic quickly changed to surprise when we heard, “It’s a girl!”
Despite this excitement, I struggled through the darkness of post partum depression. And this should be an exciting time of life, right?! I mean I had four healthy, happy children, and I struggled to want to see the next day! This sweet little girl was full of chatter and drama, always wanting to be on the go! With four kids and three under the age of 4, I was utterly exhausted.
I remember days where four of us were all crying at the same time. I was positive that I had lost ALL parenting mojo! Maybe I just wasn’t cut out for parenting! About this time, I remembered learning about personalities back in my junior high years.
Looking for something that I could do from home as a stay-at-home-mom, I decided I could go through the process to become a certified personality trainer, after all, as a counselor and speaker, I could surely put these things to use. What a surprise to find how much changed in mothering when I began to put the concepts into the framework of my family.
• I began to see each child, myself, and my husband through the lens of understanding.
• I began to see their individual strengths, their possible points of struggle, and their specific emotional needs.
• I began to truly understand how I could anticipate responses, plan approaches, address their unique emotional needs, genuinely praise their strengths, and help them manage traits that could be a struggle for them.
• I began to see that doing the “same thing” for each of them would only yield a catastrophic outcome!
• I began to appreciate the deeper connection I felt with each child, as well as three more children that followed.
• It became my passion to help other parents experience this same transformation in their approach and the deeper level of relating and connecting they would discover.
These became my tools in maximizing my
joy in the heart work of parenting!
My hope is that you would hang out here and find some things that might intrigue you. Whether you are fully content in your role as a parent and just searching for ways that you can deepen your connection with your child or maybe you are wearing out and feeling like your grasping for something that can help you feel connected and supported in this challenging role of parent. Either way, I’ve got your back!
I’m here to offer support and hope, because what you do REALLY does matter!