Whether you started into motherhood by plan or by surprise, it undoubtedly changed your life. While the majority of those changes are welcome and even delightful, there have probably been others that were unexpected or difficult. Regardless, there are some key things that every mom needs in this journey of motherhood that helps navigate the course with some fun and finesse!
Let’s take a look at what these five important things are and consider if these are things you already possess or if they are things you might benefit in finding. I know these have been key in my journey as a mom. These five things will help moms grow and flourish in their mothering.
Purpose:
Each of us was created with a purpose in mind. It may be something you have never even given much thought to. And if you haven’t, I encourage you to spend some time thinking about it. Chances are though, that you have an idea of what your purpose might be. It may be rooted in spiritual beliefs, core values, or perhaps a task or mission for which you have set your focus.
Personally, I feel my purpose relates to the talents and gifts that God created me with, and it includes my ability to put those to use as I interact with others in my life. So when I think about my desire to educate, support, and inspire others and my abilities to teach, encourage, and share practical ideas with others, I get excited. These things relate to the interests and passions God has put in my heart and mind.
In my role as a mother, I access these traits. In dealing with my children, I can put them to use naturally. Additionally, I can identify my ability to use these traits and abilities outside of our family as well. I find myself naturally seeking ways that I can use them in relationships, community, and even in doing business.
This is my own personal example. But spend just a few minutes to think about what you might identify as your talents, gifts, and abilities? And how might you put those to use both in your family and outside your family?
[bctt tweet=”Knowing your purpose helps you have a strong foundation on who you are and why you are here. ” username=”personalitymom”]Knowing your purpose helps you have a strong foundation on who you are and why you are here. It helps you find the why in what you do. Your purpose serves as the backbone of your identity. And your identity exists both as a mom and an individual. (Despite the intermittent feeling that you only exist as a mother. LOL!) And just like a lighthouse in the storm, it will help you find your way when the “stormy” times of life may hit. It will help you quickly find your focus when you get distracted or discouraged.
Connection:
No matter who you are, it is safe to say, that it would be difficult to exist without any connections with other people. Now maybe you don’t need a lot of people, but I am sure no matter how introverted you are, that even you need someone in your life in some capacity! We are created for relationship. And that doesn’t change in parenting or motherhood.
Many people find this connection in marriage, but that is not the only place it is found. It might be provided in connecting with friends, family, and even our children. The connection we make with others helps satisfy those needs for belonging, security, and relating. It helps us feel like others understand us.
I have a close friend who has play dates with her sisters and their children. I grew up in a family where the sisters-in-law all got along so well that the cousins grew up like siblings. (A connection you cherish your whole life through and realize later that not everyone gets to experience!) Husbands and wives connect in meaningful ways, as friends, partners in parenting, lovers, and maybe even soul mates. Children and parents share special connections that are priceless and may grow and change in different stages. Friends offer positive connections that help us laugh and enjoy life.
[bctt tweet=”Every mom (or parent for that matter) needs to know that they are supported in who they are and what they are doing.” username=”personalitymom”]Through connections with others we feel support. Every mom (or parent for that matter) needs to know that they are supported in who they are and what they are doing. We need the experience of having others who support us both in who we currently are and who we are growing to be.
What connections do you have in place in your life? What makes these connections meaningful to you? Perhaps you feel an absence of connection. What might you do to find ways to connect with others?
Perspective:
This might sound like a word that is just grossly overused, but don’t underestimate how important this truly is. Perspective is what allows us as moms to do the following:
- overcome things in the past
- conquer challenges in the present
- look beyond frustrations to find effective solutions
- step beyond the grip of mom guilt
- refocus on our purpose when we get discouraged
- create self-talk that is healthy and helpful
- reframe unhealthy thoughts
- see beyond wrongs done to us
- change our attitude when needed
- choose to forgive and grow
- seek to grow and move beyond our comfort zone
And much, much more! Perspective is like the red bull’s eye in the target. When we keep perspective we can avoid getting off track or stuck. We don’t have to become overwhelmed with self-doubt, fear, worry, discouragement, frustration, or the numerous other emotions that bombard us on a daily basis.
In fact, perspective is something we honestly can’t afford to mother without! When you think about it this way, you begin to realize that perspective is also one of those things we might want to be more deliberate about choosing. Just as I encouraged you to spend some time thinking through your purpose, it would be beneficial to spend some time evaluating your perspective.
How would you rate your perspective? I like to think of these things on a continuum of sorts. You might spend some time thinking about where your perspective falls between healthy and unhealthy? Positive or negative? Helpful or hurtful? Defined or unclear? Flexible or rigid? Maybe you could identify a couple areas you could refine your perspective and think about what the next step in doing that might be.
Be sure to check out the link below for the free resource of the week. It relates to finding perspective with simple meaningful phrases. Don’t miss out!
Help/Resources:
Regardless of how hard it can be to ask for help, it truly is something every mom needs. So maybe now you can drop the guilt for feeling it necessary to ask for it! Mothering is not for the faint of heart. It can stretch you beyond what you feel able. It might leave you feeling lost or confused. You might even feel lonely or depressed. You may need help for a short season or for a longer stretch of time.
But asking for help doesn’t have to be done out of desperation or when things get so bad you just can’t do it. Getting help might mean looking for ways to grow your family’s character, find challenging activities for your high ability children, finding extra help to free you up for other mothering tasks you prioritize, or getting someone to help with the kids so you can have some quality time for your marriage.
[bctt tweet=”Asking for help does not mean you are weak, incapable, or not enough. In fact, asking for help can be a sign of strength.” username=”personalitymom”]Asking for help does not mean you are weak, incapable, or not enough. In fact, asking for help can be a sign of strength. Assessing our need for help includes paying attention to our talents or gifts as well as knowing our limits or capacities.
Sometimes help comes in the form of a service, extra hands, another set of eyes, or the presence of another person to accomplish a task. Other times, help may come in the form of resources. We may need education, information, or practical tips to help us navigate the mothering journey.
I would love to be a resource for you. In fact, I would love to help by giving you access to a free library of parenting resources. There are printables, infographics, planners, discussion starters, and much more. Don’t miss out on these! I am planning to add one resource each week, and there is already nearly a year’s worth waiting for you. Click here to sign up now. the page will open in a separate window so you can come right back to this article.
Do you have the ability to ask for help when needed? Is this something you might need to improve on? (Don’t feel bad, many moms do!) How might you get the help you need? I have a set of blogs, online courses, and websites that I turn to for helpful resources. I also have some great books that offer some ideas and tips that are useful in parenting, marriage, and life. And of course, my Bible is the one resource I know can address any and every issue all in one book!
Hope:
You might think that this is simple hope, like hope that tomorrow will be better than today, hope that you can take a vacation, or hope that your kids turn out ok. We may hope that we can have more energy, more time, more sleep, or more time with our kids. It is possible we hope for less stress, less worry, less financial burden, or fewer activities in our busy schedule. Hope allows us to look for things to get better. It is an optimism and desire for things to be the best they can reasonably be.
But there is a hope even greater than that. Hope eternal! There is a hope that there is more to life than just things here on Earth. Hope is a relationship with God and knowing that only He can meet all the other needs listed above, and that when all else fails us…He never will. Hope is knowing that He will never leave us or forsake us. He has created us with a purpose and has promised to finish that work in us, when we are willing to let Him. He is our hope. To me, that is true hope. Hope is knowing that God will equip me for this mothering journey and that where I fall short, He is more than enough!
[bctt tweet=”Hope is knowing that God will equip me for this mothering journey and that where I fall short, He is more than enough!” username=”personalitymom”]Where do you find your hope? Do you rely on simple hope or hope eternal? Maybe it would be worthwhile to spend some time figuring that out! It can change your life!
And as always, feel free to get in touch if I can be of help in any way! Until next time-
P.S.—Oh yes, and for your free resource this week, I am including a list of “Momtras” which are mantras for moms! What is a mantra? It is a short simple phrase to help you focus or gain a healthy perspective. Yes, this is an easy and simple tool for you to post on your refrigerator for quick reference! If you haven’t signed up to receive the free resources I give each time in my blog posts, click here to be taken to the sign up page, it only takes a moment and you will have access to today’s resource and many more (and it is totally free to sign up and download!)
